Cognac Collector T-Shirts

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

'I'm afraid he's gone.' (stealing his drink).

"I've always admired you. I find your complete lack of compassion refreshing."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Cigars for the Upcoming Bear Market

"I'm in disguise."

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Wine of the Day Club

'He's just come back from another management training course.'

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

'Red for me, please.'

Wine

"With the return of cigars and martinis could war have been far behind?"

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

A Good Year.

Devil Smokes Cigar

Man's dentures hold cigar.

"When I left Princeton, I spent a summer briefcasing in Europe."

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

Living life dangerously 2010.

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

Absolut Cullum.

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"Ralph said he'd give up cigars if I gave up Prince Charles and Di."

"Too much aftershave, visit to a bee farm. Bad combination."

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

Your husband will love this cologne. It has that new car smell.

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

Cafe. He's a caffeine addict. Nobody can match his intake. An espresso machine!

"My wife wants a perfume that'll make her irresistable. What have you got that smells like bourbon and cigars?"

'Drop him again, Louie.'