Cognac Collector T-Shirts

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

'I'm afraid he's gone.' (stealing his drink).

"I've always admired you. I find your complete lack of compassion refreshing."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"I'm in disguise."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Cigars for the Upcoming Bear Market

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'He's just come back from another management training course.'

Wine of the Day Club

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

'Red for me, please.'

Wine

A Good Year.

Devil Smokes Cigar

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

"With the return of cigars and martinis could war have been far behind?"

Man's dentures hold cigar.

"When I left Princeton, I spent a summer briefcasing in Europe."

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

Absolut Cullum.

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

"Ralph said he'd give up cigars if I gave up Prince Charles and Di."

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"Too much aftershave, visit to a bee farm. Bad combination."

Living life dangerously 2010.

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

Your husband will love this cologne. It has that new car smell.

'Drop him again, Louie.'

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

Are you bidding Mrs Bixler, or are you berating Mr. Bixler again?'