Coffee Sleuth Pillows

"I'm telling you. . . something's not right with this coffee."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

How About Serving Us For a Change

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

IT security.

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

"I know nobody here works with each other, but it seems like morale is down."

"She has perfected her micro-nap to look as though she is thinking."

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

'I'll just grab a coffee...'

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

Waiter, there are tiny bubbles rising to the surface of my clam chowder. Conclusion" there's a flatulent fly in my soup. ? ?

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

Billy strip: bed pan.

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' - 'Oh, that's where it got to. It belongs to table six.'

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'

'If you think about it, would you give him a coffee with 17 spoonfuls of sugar in it?'

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

"No thanks. Do you know how much sugar is in those things?"

"Iced grande soy triple-lutz latte!"

'They said company perks came with the job----hope they were talking about more than this!'

"...but you uncovered this cafe's secret conspiracy to addict us to over-caffeinated drinks."

One cappuccino please, and I wanted to give you this. A note. How formal. Dear small local independent coffee house ... I went to Starbucks this morning. I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me? What if I agree to purge what I ate? The written apology is sufficient.