Coffee Rebel Pillows

"And we thought you were a team player!"

"Sometimes, just to agitate them, I flash my jar on instant coffee."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Thou Shalt Not!

Garlic Free Zone.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Valet park only"

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

Punkcakes

Johnny Appleseed's Dirty Little Secret

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

Cowboy with saddle coffee holder.

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One ge

'I didn't know it was so dangerous. . . Mac's coffee.'

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

'Cookery is the new rock n' roll'

US Economy Boat.

"Let me see if I have it correctly, sir. To hell with the appetizer. A chopped sirloin that damn well better be rare. No goddam relish tray. Who cares which salad dressing, since they all taste like sludge?"

It's a gingerbread cyclops....I ran out of raisins!

More New Cereals For Kids

"So that's a three bird roast."

Food-Snob Fear Factor

One cappuccino please, and I wanted to give you this. A note. How formal. Dear small local independent coffee house ... I went to Starbucks this morning. I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me? What if I agree to purge what I ate? The written apology is sufficient.

Lance, the more I drink, the funnier you get! That's why the Fusco brothers are starting a campaign urging Americans to pour beer over their breakfast cereal instead of milk, as they read the comics.

The 5th Basic Food Group - Junk Food.

'I never get tipped!'