Breakfast Rebel Pillows

'He's messing with my mind. He ordered a plain donut and a chocolate bagel with sprinkles.'

101 uses of a dead cat: toast rack

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Garlic Free Zone.

Lockdown casserole

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"Valet park only"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"I'm unable to process this image."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

Mom bought the wrong flakes

If you don't mind, we'll work through lunch...

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

"Fridge-to-table"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'