Coffee Explorers Gifts

Holes: regular, black, with cream.

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Joined at the hipster.

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

Countervailing Clichés.

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Night-shift entrance

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

'You were fired from your last job when they caught you putting artificial sweetener in your coffee.'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

'What do you mean, you want a coffee break?!'

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

'Something tells me I shouldn't have had these around Easter.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"Dear, when was the last time you just winged it?"

Mt. Rushmore Spinoffs.

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Coffee

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"We'd better get over there. The morning coffee scrum has already started."

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'