Coffee Culture Junkie T-Shirts

'You don't like your coffee black?! RACIST!'

"Life is complicated. Ordering coffee should be, too."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

Back to work...

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

You've Had Enough!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Countervailing Clichés.

Writers without borders.

Non-Power Breakfast

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."

EU and India partnership.

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"We love each other very much, and we concur on alcohol and coffee. But we're unable to come to an agreement on meat and fish."

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'