Coffee Conundrum Explorer T-Shirts

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Countervailing Clichés.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

Too Much Coffee Man

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"Of course we don't mind you working from home - we'd just rather it was from your own home, Mr Webb."

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Coffee

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

Bureaucrat's Brain

"We have a small menu..."

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

"Sorry for the delay -- your power toast has become all-powerful."

A group of people sit in a coffee shop.

"I'm assuming this coffee date covers an extension of our friendship for at least a year."

Spook cafe special meal.

"Two non-fat lattes and a decaf flat white, please."