Coffee Conundrum Explorer T-Shirts

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Countervailing Clichés.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

Too Much Coffee Man

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

"We have a small menu..."

Bureaucrat's Brain

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

"Sorry for the delay -- your power toast has become all-powerful."

A group of people sit in a coffee shop.

'William and I dug up this little place just last week!'

"I'm assuming this coffee date covers an extension of our friendship for at least a year."

Two people are sat in a cold café having hot chocolate.

'Hey let's see what 'Aroma Lattes' is like, Jill! I've heard the coffee here IS to die for!'