Coffee Shop Explorers T-Shirts

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave - all of our other customers are lactose intolerant."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

You've Had Enough!

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Countervailing Clichés.

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

How About Serving Us For a Change

Coffee Menu

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'It takes all day to eat it.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

Hipster Coffee

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

"We have a small menu..."

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

'What are you staring at? You have free wi fi here, don't you?'

"Sorry for the delay -- your power toast has become all-powerful."

A group of people sit in a coffee shop.

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

Rudy, how come you're not wearing the new uniform? You were serious? You seriously want me to dress like a robot? Of course I do, minion. My nightly perusal of customers' web searches indicates most of them are feeling a bit antisocial lately. They'd probably buy more coffee from a robot than a human. Oh wait ... new web searches coming in. I'm going to need you to dress like a sexy robot. Very bad man.