Coffee Club Attendee Pillows

The prying mantis,

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

You've Had Enough!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

How About Serving Us For a Change

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

Night-shift entrance

'You were fired from your last job when they caught you putting artificial sweetener in your coffee.'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

'What do you mean, you want a coffee break?!'

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

"Dear, when was the last time you just winged it?"

Hipster Coffee

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

Bookstore-Cafe: Used Book/Day-Old Croissants

"Help me on this one, Jimbo. What I want to do here is fire you."

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

"Everyone's so nosy. They act like they want to be left along, but they're always nonchalantly eavesdropping on everyone else....some more nonchalantly than others."

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

'Have a nice day, dear. . . no need to get up and make coffee.'

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'

"I like my coffee like my men: light and weak."

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

'This is Harold. Harold is part of our company's jobless recovery.'