Coffee Calculator Gifts

People, please listen. I'm talkin 'bout the income gap. The top one percent of Americans get one third of the nation's income, over double what they got in 1980. One-third. The income for the top 0.01% is 196 times the bottom 90%. Your wages have stagnated and the super-duper rich have gotten super-duper richer! How can you possibly swallow your coffee? Because you're making me do math before noon!

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Eternal Student.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Selling lemon latt�

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

Multi-tasking.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'These are job perks.'

"At this office no two days are different."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Man's best friends."

Back to work...

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"