Coffee Break Comedian Pillows

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

"It's my in-tray!"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

'You're lucky, Ted. You're the only one around here who doesn't get treated like a number.'

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

"I work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to resign."

'This decaf's lousy.'

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

'Ever thought of early retirement?'

'Why is it the one moment I choose to relax you walk in?'

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

"I like to keep my option open."

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'