Coffee And Meeting Critic Pillows

'Sorry I'm not at the meeting, sir

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'The coffee tastes of mud. Is that why you call it 'ground' coffee?'

"I am calling a meeting...I am calling it a waste of time."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

"Practicing my hate-face."

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

"There's no point in our being friends if you won't let me fix you."

'Haffner, we'll have none of your common sense suggestions!'

Honest Vending Machine

"Help me on this one, Jimbo. What I want to do here is fire you."

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

'Well, kids, I guess it all started with decaffeinated coffee....'

"This coffee seems a little staler every morning, Edwina!"

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"When everyone gets a pillow you may start your presentation."

'If I'm to put up with cold coffee and stale biscuits I expect a Much better line in gossip!'

"In the future, please order a small black coffee as a petit café noir."

The It Tastes Like Cr*p Because Its Healthy Cafe

"This meeting has been a great success. Insofar as the profound loneliness of my soul has been displaced for a little while."