Coffee Adventurer Mugs

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid café owner who discovers a map to the lost coffee bean of the ancients. The bean is hidden in crumbling catacombs beneath a booby-trapped Mayan temple. Braving an almost certain grisly death ... The cafe owner sends his obsequious minion to liberate the bean. Wait ... what? But the story really gets going when the evil minion tries filing for workman's comp just because he loses a few toes. Can the brave own

One fruit tart and a glass of warm milk. That'll be $8.75. House of Java.net Cybercafe. $8.75?! When I was a boy, you could buy a whole cow for $8.75! I should warn you, long-winded old-timey stories won't wear down my resolve. This was before the cowporiums buried the mom & pop cow retailers. $8.50 if you stop new.

"It's the coffee flavor for those who hate the taste of coffee."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Before/After

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

Non-Power Breakfast

Countervailing Clichés.

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

EU and India partnership.

"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

Coffee shop

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."