Cocktail Party Goer Gifts

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

"I'm Generation Z. Nice to meet you."

"To mom, apple pie, and foreign investors who keep our economy humming."

"Just pretend it's immersive theatre."

"Without Alice's job, we'd need a grant to keep us in the middle class."

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

"Are you starting to feel fabulous yet?"

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"I was reading somewhere that people are stupid."

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

"Sure, he's got deep pockets, but they're always in his other pants."

Designated Astronaut.

"Kevin writes non-ironic haikus."

"I consider myself a rationalist, but of course I'm also quite delusional."

"At work, they call me benchmark."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Cocktails on the verandah.

On holiday.

'No ice.'

Cat Nip.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Pina Coladas

'No standing while room is in motion.'

We'll have Manhattans...

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Shaken not stirred

You're the botanicals in my gin

Balancing two espresso martinis

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

In case of emergency, break glass.

Margarita