Cockroach Whisperer Gifts

Roach Motel

"Do you have to scream every morning when you turn on the light and I scurry across the floor?"

The Worm Charmer

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

Mantis Love

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

"I hear they serve Australian swamp rat in first."

'I could eat you.'

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"Relax. They're just crows."

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

"Earthworms are good guys, and birds are good guys—that's just life, honey."

"Yeah, birds are bad, but fishermen are the worst: they first stab you with a hook, then drown you to finish you off. . ."

Entomology Reference

'Where are you going?'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'Please repeat, your last transmission was garbled.'

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

'I've tied a knot to remind you to feed him.'

Professor...what are you doing?

"My husband is fishing. . ."

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

"Wow! Check out the body on this one."

'You should see a doctor. Maybe you have that West Nile thing.'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

"You look different — did you do something to your tubercula pubertatis?"

"Good day at work..?"

"Roaches, rats, mice, fleas, silverfish… we're all the family of vermin."

'Well, Dad, you said for us to use our initiative to make money so we went into the worm business.'

'To be honest Bob, I'm very happy with my new career path.'