Coastal Living Gifts

'This Pinot Grigio reminds me of Miami Beach - they're both close to water.'

"Delivery."

Damp? Only when the tide is very, very high.

Lighthouse

Confessions of a Lighthouse Keeper.

Giraffe looking out of a lighthouse.

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

"Looking on the bright side, we should get fifty quid for the lawnmower."

"It might have been smart to inquire about the tides before buying this seaside place"

Boy running away from home (a lighthouse).

Electricain leaving lighthouse,"Wire you insulate!"

Man going out for a cigarette from a lighthouse.

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

Cute 1 bdrm cottage next to beach $2500 a month - No dogs.

Joe, the Lighthouse Keeper

"OK, that was the ebb tide. Now we wait for the neap tide."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Life is great' down on the farm.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Country Bumpkin.

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

'I blame global warming!'

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

High Riders of the Old West

"Now you can send it."

I fart more than that!

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)