Coastal Comedian Pillows

'Inland revenue? Your letter doesn't apply to me, I live on the coast!'

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Brighton Bersagliere.

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Shark food pyramid.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Scene on the English coast.

"You can find me on Inkedin."

"If you hurry, you can make the matinée."

'I think its being tapped.'

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'It is truly embrarrassing Doc: I faint at the sight of blood... Can you help me?'

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

No petting in the pool!

"What's that clicking sound?"

Jelly Fish

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

'I'm not sure Dad, but I think I wet the bed.'

'Ha! Fake out!'

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

Orca-nized crime - 'I want you to find Finny Dorsalni and make him sleep with the humans.'

'Yeah, I know, but don't worry, I've scared the living daylights out of him: He'll never spear-fish again...'