Coach Potato Coach T-Shirts

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'Now that's Real TV!'

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

Snooker cue changes the channels on tv.

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"I want to be so successful that it ruins my life."

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

Ball and Chain

"Look, we're getting a recreation centre."

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'