Club Soda Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Hilda, what gets wine out again, is it club soda?'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

I could have danced all night!

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Party Animals.

'No ice.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

Join me in a Martini?

The Alpha Seltzer

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"I love this time of day."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Drunk, yet orderly"

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

Superheroes Having a Drink

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'Fried chickens.'

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Sparks Fly When The Little Gray Suit Meets The Little Black Dress

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

"Well, here he is. He just grew on me until I couldn't stand it anymore."