Clown Car Collector Pillows

Dead Funny

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"You're right. They do taste funny."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

Top model

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Acme Flyswatters.

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

Clown looks nervously at Grim Reaper eating a banana next to him.

Driverless tow truck.

"Do you have anything smaller?"

'My wife used too much fabric softener.'

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

Millipede motorist

'Our limo's here.'

"Got any new monster trucks?"

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"He spends most of his time outside. I have to force him to come in and play with something electronic."

"Do you have any other form of collateral?"