Clown Car Collector Pillows

Circus. Why did I have to be sponsored by Ringling Brothers?

Dead Funny

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Do you buy cars here?"

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"You're right. They do taste funny."

Top model

James May

Acme Flyswatters.

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

Driverless tow truck.

Millipede motorist

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

'Our limo's here.'

'My wife used too much fabric softener.'

"Do you have anything smaller?"

Clown looks nervously at Grim Reaper eating a banana next to him.

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"Got any new monster trucks?"

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."

"Do you have any other form of collateral?"

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'