Cloud Taster T-Shirts

'Personally, I think the cumulous taste more cotton candy then marshmallow.'

"States of tofu"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

Wine taster with mineral water

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

My comfort zone

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

Baby at Christmas Dinner

'Frank, it's water.'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

IRS, 'Yes, but in order to deduct it, you have to be a LICENSED wine-taster.'

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'Ironically, before I fell on hard times, I was a professional wine taster.'

Brew Clubs

'Notice the quintessential taste of Tuscany in this impressive little vintner we picked up on our last trip to Italy.'

'How about I leave the last splinter in? It'll be a good reminder to not take things literally, at your next barrel tasting.'

"Hmm, over-oaked chardonnay! My kind of wine!"

'We let 65 people try the '03 Malbec and told them they couldn't just describe it as 'good'. The result: 65 said it was 'very good'.'

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"