Cloud Nine Renovator Pillows

"I know it looks a little rough but we're having all the puffy stuff reupholstered this week."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"It started as an out-of body experience but I forgot the password to get back in."

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

The Cheese God

"Speaking only for myself, the unexamined life was a total gas!"

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

An Angel getting his dog to jump through his Halo using it like a Hoop

"Once a sinner, always a sinner!"

Descartes in the afterlife: "I thought therefore I was."

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

'If this were really heaven there would be fire hydrants.'

'Call me 'Pete'. We're very informal here.'

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

Please have 2 forms of photo ID ready.

'Angelfood always DID make me break out.'

Angles on cloud 9 always get to live it up.

Heavy angels play ring-toss using halos and thin angel.

I know, I was expecting something different too...

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

"We're engaged!"

Life after death. It's all about altitude. "Whaz up?" "Aside from you pants - everything."

'I'm considered a saint, but my mother always thought I could've done better.'

'Isn't it heaven to always be right...'

'Whoever would have thought you couldn't get in without a jacket and tie?'

"There, would you believe it - Made in China!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'