Closet Philosophers Pillows

Things I should be proud of - but am not. Things I shouldn't be proud of - but am.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Studies show foods work miracles!

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"So that's where you were last night."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

'Hey! - why bicker all evening when we could be watching a film about ideological genocide.'

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

"I suppose we could burst onto the literary scene."

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."