Close Quarters Strategist T-Shirts

Elevator volume control.

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

World Economic Crisis.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

The Decline of Europe