Clinical Researcher Gifts

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."

'Control group bar and grill - Placebo hour 5-7,'

"We're taking you out of the clinical trial and putting you in a criminal trial."

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"We still don't understand how this happened. You were with the placebo control group."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

I'd like to report an adverse event.

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Chicken soup is in an intravenous drip.

Doctor pulling sensors off a patient.

'Locked-in syndrome research centre.

Volunteered for one medical experiment too many.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

2021

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Fear/Knowledge

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

UK/US Free Trade Deal

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'