Clinic Comedies Pillows

'We want to have him fixed, Doctor!'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

'You've got lot toe!'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

'When you said I had to come in for a scan, this isn't what I had in mind.'

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

Stay away from Pigs.

'Level with me, Doc — it's contagious, isn't it?'

"I'm going to have to draw some blood."

'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

"The mood Disorders Clinic is three floors up, and then two floors down."

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

"If anyone has a question do not hesitate to open your mouth wide up."

'Fear not, Madam! I've never lost a case of this kind in this hospital!...

'Oh! How nice! An espresso machine!'

"So, you've got butterflies in your stomach, a bug in your ear and a bee in your bonnet. Any other complaints?"

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

Nil By Ear

"Tick, tick, tick..."

'I know a skirt-blower would save time, but I don't thing the patients would like it.'