Clever Twist Admirer Pillows

'Well - we are catfish.'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

The Final Selfie

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."

If Shakespeare were alive today

'Alas irrefutable confirmation.'

"Do you know what time they open love?"

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel ... let down your hair extensions.'

"I think he must have had a death wish"

We discovered the original background during an x-ray. Ice cream.

"Thank you! And now for my finale, I shall produce a magician from the hat."

Writing about scientific progress in 1675, Isaac Newton said " If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." This metaphor is now commonly used to make the point that scientific advances are made using a foundation built by the work of those who came before. That Newton guy was right, you can see further when you're on the shoulders of Giants. I just wonder if he was talking about the players from the football Giants or the baseball Giants. Ernie is a much bigger fan

"Reverse two and a half somersaults with one and a half twists - WOW!"

"And I was all like - severed head in a sack? What severed head in a sack?"

"Mother, I've sold the cow on the dark web for 3 bitbeans."

Goldilocks and the Three Little Pigs

'Trick or treat!' Now if you could just enter your PIN.'

'I'm a butcher by trade.'

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

"Aye, Arthur were kitchen sink before all them young lads in the sixties."

The Latter Day Wisdom of Solomon

'Goliath! Spent force - Lifetime of drug fuelled addiction. His headline grabbing misdemeanours have sapped his energies.'

'Wh...what? House of straw? House of sticks? But that was so long ago!'

"According to this, prince Charming is divorcing Cinderella. He says he was forced into the marriage by his father,and that he's always secretly loved one of her ugly sisters."

Under Noah's Ark

Moles hiding on a scarecrow.

Safe is actually window to men's bathroom.

Gun shop owner dies from arrow in back.

Three pigs sit down to eat roast wolf