Clever Shopper Pillows

Panic buying toilet paper

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"The curvature of the screen tricks the brain into perceiving that you're not overpaying."

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

'My wife doesn't just allow for inflation - she helps it along.'

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"People seem to be saying, Christmas is early, much earlier than they did last year."

'Hi, yourself.'

Shopper reading Shopenhauer in bookshop

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

You Can Afford 8 Less Products Each Week

"Well I only know of only one family smart enough to know they can't live without an energy efficient clothes dryer! That's right . . . the sucker fish family!"

"This new grocery store is divided into two sections: organic and things I can afford."

'Trust in God, but count your change.'

Last minute gift ideas

'Cutting prices by shrinking pack sizes. Hey! It's not that bad after all!'

'Why is it when they reduce the calories in a product, they always increase the price?'

"How can we afford to eat at a place where the doggie bags are Gucci?"

'This new breakfast cereal is too expensive.'

Supermarket trolley repairs

$65 for a frozen turkey. . . 9 bucks for a sleigh ride.

'I don't CARE if they were marked down 35 percent. That set of drapes goes back to the store!'

"What 'Do-not-knock' list?"

"The bad side effects are your medical plan doesn't cover the cost of this medication."

"You're right - the shipping isn't free. They've folded the expense in the cost of the item."