Clerical Error Humorist Pillows

'Actually, my name is Gord Zilla...they got it wrong on my birth certificate!'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

(Visual gag) GIVE YOLK Eggs at a give yolk clinic

'Fear not, Madam! I've never lost a case of this kind in this hospital!...

"You are perfectly healthy, your Highness."

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

'Holy shit!'

"Here's a funny joke for you. A bartender walks into a barn..."

Early Selfies

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

'I've been looking everywhere for that!'

"I can't find anything wrong with you at all."

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

"I'll make a deal with you. You don't push my buttons, and I won't pull your strings."

'What's your husband's intolerance ?'

'Turn the camera off! Turn off the web cam!'

'Come off there Brian! You look such a cliche!'

Fertility Clinic Notice - Watch For Children

'It's bad enough that you dropped your end of the stretcher, but did you have to yell 'BOMBS AWAY'?'

Never fails. Stay in all week, not one call. Step out for an hour to preach...

'Sylvia? It's Allen. Listen, I accidentally left the shop with a knee ligament kit...Yeah, yeah, I know. I am an idiot. Anyway, could you send someone out pronto with the kit for rotator cuffs?'

"Malpractice? The joke's on you. I don't have a license."

Doctor talks to face that is halfway down man's body: 'I'm afraid the face transplant has not quite taken.'

"I didn't get the timings quite right, the meat will be ready next Thursday."

'Ever think about - you know - S-E-X?'

"So I took a little nap - what kind of malpractice is taking a little nap?"

'Your name's not in our computer, Sir---Oh, dear! I'm afraid you're supposed to be in the OTHER place!'

'Gluteus Maximus, you're nothing but a bum.'

'Regulator valve blew off of the oxygen tank!!!'

The Pet Parson

'You need a haircut Your Reverence.'