Cleanliness Freak Mugs

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

Moses separating his Laundry.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

Dogs shaving

'Mom is making us clean out our rooms, but she'll get you next.'

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

Hand sanitizer

"Not guilty?"

Monsters won't eat you if they're not hungry. So, each night, Mom makes it a sandwich. If I keep my room tidy.

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

TV and cleaner

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

Wash your hands

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

Car wash / Mouth wash

"I was wrong. Apparently, it wasn't our kids who used all my bubble bath."

'It's like all I do is pick up after him.'

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

Soap Versus Coronavirus

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

'Right, moving on to the housekeeping...'

Spring Cleaning

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'