Cleanliness Conundrum Conqueror Gifts

'I'd invite you in but we've got this new cream sofa and matching rug!'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Ironing day.

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

"I told you to wash the car, but no..."

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

In the art gallery

"Wash your hands after handling these, Miss Utley -- They're toxic securities."

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

"It would kill him to run a vacuum?"

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Dr. Unzimer's mother appears... "Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

Fumes from furniture

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'I don't care if you're wearing them again tomorrow, just put your clothes away!'

'Now Gregory needed an investor to take his Gentlemen's Lavatory Tongs from dream to reality.'

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

Cleaning Lockers.