Classy Drink Humorist Pillows

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Honest Vending

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Man...You age great!'

"What other tricks does he need?"

Teapot

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

Join me in a beer?

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

"It's Olive isn't it?"

"It's for his shakes."

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

'I'd like a brandy please...'

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

'I'm having what he's having.'

"If your boyfriend is so special, why is his name tattooed on the back of your neck where you can't see it?"

"Wow, that's amazing! I've only been to this bar once before. I'm surprised you remembered my round!"

All I'm sayin is let he who has not driven naked and stoned cast the first stone...

'Two pints of blonde please.'

'I noticed your wine list only has reds and whites. Don't you have any yellow wines?'