Classroom Wit Gifts

"There is, however, nothing in the dean's regulations to preclude a semester of profoundly suggestive and, ultimately, frustrating consensual eye contact."

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'But I digress...'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

Big Bang Theory.

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'