Classroom Detective T-Shirts

"I don't think your parent would sign this excuse, 'Timmy's Mom'."

"Please, Ms. Sweeney, may I ask where you're going with all this?"

"I realize Kyle was looking at your answers, but that doesn't mean you can sue him for theft of intellectual property."

A boy acting suspiciously

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'I need affordable daycare now!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

Manual Labor.

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"We need to talk about procrastination."

Back to School

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

"My teaching skills have improved because their dogs are eating less homework."

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

'Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them.'

Do I get extra credit for neatness?

'Miss Soule, I'm curious. How many numbers were there when you were my age?'

Final Exams Today

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

'You always go that extra mile, don't you Molly.'

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy