School Solutions Detective T-Shirts

'Unfortunately, we're approaching the expiration date on our quick-fix solutions.'

"They grow up so fast."

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

'I need affordable daycare now!'

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

Manual Labor.

'I read all the parenting books, but you always manage to stay one step ahead of me!'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"Please, Ms. Sweeney, may I ask where you're going with all this?"

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"We need to talk about procrastination."

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

'Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them.'

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

"My teaching skills have improved because their dogs are eating less homework."

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

'Miss Soule, I'm curious. How many numbers were there when you were my age?'

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

"You can use Dave's cubicle. He has Seasonal Affective Disorder and won't be using it this winter. Whoa! I guess I'm wrong. There he is, hibernating under the desk!"

"I realize Kyle was looking at your answers, but that doesn't mean you can sue him for theft of intellectual property."

"I've found Waldo. Now what?"

Though it WAS possible that Wade's dog had eaten his homework, Mrs. Vorkley tested the remnants for traces of dog saliva.

'It appears that our competitors have gotten their hands on our confidential files...I'm afraid we may have a mole in this office!'

"I think this is the last year he'll believe in Father Christmas, he's asking a lot of questions"

"It drives me crazy when people whine about discrepancies in school funding..."