Classroom Curator Pillows

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Paul Klee

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

It's a call from Tate modern.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

Misunderstood artist

'Projectile painting.'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Frederic Auguste Bartholdi

You had me at vintage.

Convenience.

The Rise of Modern Art

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

"The new house is almost ready!"

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"It's Chicken Mole!"

The perfectionist.

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'