Curriculum Curator Pillows

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

'My instincts and intuitions are on opposing sides on this schedule.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

You're my Mona Lisa.

At the Museum

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

The Googler

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"And this is our media room."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Physician tending a mummy.

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Misunderstood artist

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"