Classroom Chaos Curator Pillows

"There's a note... 'Please excuse Billy from school today...'"

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Homo Gamus

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

'He has a learning disorder.'

The Secret Life of Pens

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Did I throw which spitball?'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

'Why? The year just started! She's not in any trouble. . . Ok. . . yet.'

'Painter'

'My dad thinks I have a future in junk bonds.'

'Do not be alarmed... this is only a drill!'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

Me Head's in Bits

"I know it's surface-level behavior, but I think I just might respond to it."

Never declare a food fight on artichoke day!

'Ok, who threw that?'

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

"Mine's a metaphor. I don't know what's going on withyou."