Classic Tale Humorist Pillows

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

"The Armour seems okay, it must be a touch of rheumatism."

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

"Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?"

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

Auroch drawing cave paintings.

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges

"You just keep him away from my kid, okay?"

Restricted: Do Not Cross

American Gothic lol

'I think this might explain the disappearing frog population.'

The Life of the Party

"OK, high jinks - if I plead guilty to high jinks how much time do I get?"

Sir Louie the Bench-Warmer pumps up the home crowd, and the tide of battle begins to turn.

'The three little pigs attended a professional development seminar on dealing with bullies and they were never bothered by the big bad wolf again.'

'Who ordered the caesar salad?'

'Damocles, did I sit in the wrong chair?'

"I'm old school. Instead of ranting on social media, I just scream in people's faces."

"Hancock, to really drive home the point, sign your name really big, followed by an angry face emoji!"

'Now, pull in the twine, Robin, and you'll find a stout rope attached to it...'