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"This now concludes our broadcast day."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"They don't call them reruns anymore...they call them deja-views."

Dante Alighieri

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

'On the Highway of Life, Broderick Crawford is always pulling me over.'

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges

Bob Crane - Spot the Difference

'It took us a long time, but we finally made it -- take us to Mork and Mindy.'

'When we return, our handyman will begin installing a new layer of imported dirt. Stay tuned for the next episode of ... Flip This Hole.'

'I'm not too happy about this new identity you lot have given me!'

Sid James and Tony Hancock.

'Hello Cynthia, it's me...I thought I'd phone for a natter, Gerald's fallen asleep in front of the TV...trying to program the video.'

Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and James Gandolfini.

'I know na-sink, na-sink!' - Sgt. Schultz's secret is discovered

'I'm not sure our insurance will pay off - I just ran over Ed McMahon!'

A swell going riding is told to be careful because the horse is very fresh.

HMS Pinafore

HONEY! I TOLD YOU THAT GRUMPY WERE GETTING SICK OF ALL THOSE POLITICAL COMMERCIALS!

A man is standing up with a remote stuck between his butt cheeks-he says;'Nobody is going anywhere until the t.v. remote is found!'

I"t's gotten worse, doc. Now I've got a pop in my knee."

'I think I liked it better back when there were only three networks insulting our intelligence.'

"Can I get these in purple?"