Classic Seafarer Gifts

'What's the point? We're never going to be able to compete with online piracy.'

Captain in a storm

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Viking Loch Ness

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Lighthouse Beam.

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'Distracting the fish.'

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

A large yacht carries a small wood house.

Pirate

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

Sailor's Poker.

Walking the Plank.

"We've got a problem."

Thoughtful gifts for that special pirate in your life.

"International trade"

"The moment he told me he lived in a lighthouse, I knew he was a keeper."

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

'Are we here-there-be yet?'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

'I told you that parrot didn't know how to navigate.'

The Dohertys, Bill, Sue, Ellen, Brad and Tina, complete the first trans-Atlantic picnic table crossing.

"My new book will be an epic novel of the sea."

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

Submariners' Eye Test.

My First Boat

"Ye God's... That was close."

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

"Whaddya say, Black? We'll plunder the seas together. You scratch my back; I'll scratch yours."