Classic Quote Quipster Pillows

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Macbeth: Take Two

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'Is the water cold?'

Official Seal

'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

Death Watch

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

Restricted: Do Not Cross

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

"Where's the damn bottle-opener?" "It's his day off, sir."

'Parting is such sweet sorrow.'

"It says here 'No man is an island'. What about the Isle of Man?"

Never mind the Bartoks.

'My fault?! You're the one who said, 'Give him enough rope and he'll hang himself.''

I'm already two weeks ahead of my diet schedule.

Egg Head

Man Eater

Last Post

'Dill! Stop being a freakish modern day cow-relic chewing throwback! Ok?'

"Join the Information Age? Yeah, right. I can't remember the information I already have."

For tuppence a pikey tells a huntsman the hounds have passed through - when huntsman returns pikey reveals he meant the previous day

'You are Wenus, you know'