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Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

"Don't we like the Brothers Grimm anymore?"

Schlock Holmes

'I'm afraid you're a little late for the book signing, Mr. Dickens.'

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

Frankenstein's monster writing a lonely hearts ad.

Dorothy, the lion, and the scarecrow, are suddenly confronted by the tin man of Oz.

'What do you mean, you BROKE the sword in the stone?'

'Ever since I lost that stupid race, I've been a laughing stock wherever I go...

Dracula sees his reflection in the mirror.

'Romeo and Julietta'

'Have you got a mirror, Doctor - He wants to see what he looks like?'

"Not now, I've a shocking toothache."

"You're going to hate yourself."

Tut and Carmen.

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

Out To Lurch

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

The Demise of Tinkerbell

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

Joan Hickson

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Iliadette.

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