Classic Hits Fan Gifts

Diana Ross

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

ZZZZZZZ Top

'Yes, all at once!'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

"The last time I heard a beat like this I was at a Grateful Dead concert."

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

Jimi Hendrix.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Shakespeare in the clink

Mom dwarves.

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

"It's not Kansas, Totem, but I can settle for it."

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

"How was the play!"

'Frivolity -- What art thou in for?'

Old songs made new

Fiction for Plumbers

'Help me Rhonda I've fallen & I can't get back up.'

Shirley MacLaine caricature

Moon Line UP

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

"So you don't want to come along?"

The Tin Man really should have asked the wizard for common sense.

Titanic 100th anniversary

'How much longer are you two going to practice the theme music from 'Psycho'?'

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

William Tell meets Carmen Miranda.

Eddie Van Halen