Classic Cuisine Lover Gifts

"I hope you've noticed that our menu is refreshingly devoid of creativity."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Church Basement Foodie

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

Quartet of chefs.

"Gigot de sept heures."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

The First Roast Chicken.

Inappropriate garnish.

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

French man holding a dish.

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

'Technology hates me.'

'I googled it Mom. There's no such thing as McLiver and onions.'

'No tables are available at this time. Would you be interested in take-out?'

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

"I dreamed that butter and sugar and eggs came back, and we all made cookies."

"So nice to see things 'a la financiere' again."

"Here's our everything's included meal kit. How do they stuff a cook and dishwasher in there?"

'More French bread, sir?.'

“It's his first hibachi.”

"Pipe sludge or overpriced sparkling?"

'I don't know what I ordered, but I think it's going to be good!'

'I'm sorry sir. I'm afraid you can't see the menu. It's top secret.'

"So - we'll go for Bouillabaisse then, shall we?"

Quark soup

"It's steak and chips, it is what the ploughman had for lunch!"

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

'A wee bowl of porridge can set you up for the day!'

"I wanted to eat like the French... so I am having a burger with bearnaise sauce."

"Examine the bottle? Sniff the cork? At these prices why am I doing all the work?"

"Oh no! Not Polynesian again!"

'A pork pie in its wrapper, please.'