Class Control Commander T-Shirts

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

Second lifeReal life.

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Teacher's pet dog

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'That's the bell for round two.'

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

"Still on your left."

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

The Ideal Teacher.

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"Cool game!"

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

'Parents have been complaining that I'm too strict? You want me to be a little less intimidating? Do you want me to send students to your office 47 times a day? I'm a 67-year-old woman dealing with 16-year-old thugs....

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

"I try to get a head start on them."

Holy cow! This is nothing like the hunting video game we played!

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

"I actually know more commands than I respond to."

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"