Class Control Commander Pillows

"I need a good book on classroom management. My class went from The Learning Channel to The Jerry Springer Show in one week."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

Second lifeReal life.

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

Infantry.

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

Teacher's pet dog

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

"Still on your left."

'That's the bell for round two.'

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

The Ideal Teacher.

"Cool game!"

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'Parents have been complaining that I'm too strict? You want me to be a little less intimidating? Do you want me to send students to your office 47 times a day? I'm a 67-year-old woman dealing with 16-year-old thugs....

"I try to get a head start on them."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

"You're fine, sir. I'm ticketing your back seat passenger for persistent, obnoxious, unsolicited advice."

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

Holy cow! This is nothing like the hunting video game we played!

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"