Clairvoyant Comedian T-Shirts

'The mist is clearing.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Asking out a palm reader.

Quantum Psychic

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"You're solemates!"

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'It's Blurred.'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Ill next Thursday

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

"Your husband says BOO!"

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"A new set of dentures! Is that it?"

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'