Clairvoyant T-Shirts

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'That's the skip-forward button. Great for jumping to conclusions.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'You're going to get bigger.'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

'And what makes you think you'll be good at planning ahead?'

"I need some medicine for an infection I'm going to get next week."

Information desk manned by a fortune teller.

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'Madam Zora's one of our new schemes to future proof the business!'

Psychic Car Mechanics.

'Wait a minute! This isn't your future... it's Ken Lay's future.'

'We'll start with the minutes of next year's AGM.'

"You're on mute."

"This is very mysterious. I can't seem to pick up anything at all about you, but I see 'Ivan the Terrible' coming to the Thalia."

"Sometimes the future is bright, sometimes it's dark - it's all cyclical."

"Sorry, but my WiFi is down."

Ouija board speaks recorded options

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

'Shall we get started - You haven't got all day.'

"I foresee a nasty fall in your future, but for twenty bucks I can give you a second opinion."

'Your'e going to meet a tall, dark, stranger.'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

'Soon you will be a widow! Your husband will meet a violent end!' 'Will I be acquitted?'

"You have to shake it up if you want to see it snow again."

"You will never catch up with the new technology."

'Come in'.

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

'Are you going to bowl or are you going to peek into the future?'

"You will marry a tall,dark, handsome couple..."

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'I see a palm...A palm crossed with silver...'

Clairvoyant Here: Monday Evening 7PM. . . (Unless something unforeseen occurs).

'It's Blurred.'