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Psychic Convention

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Asking out a palm reader.

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Quantum Psychic

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"You're solemates!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'It's Blurred.'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

"A new set of dentures! Is that it?"

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

Ill next Thursday

"Your husband says BOO!"